Dear Oprah Winfrey

Oprah Winfrey wrote this whole thing about how she had a thyroid condition misdiagnosed years ago as a heart condition. Tragic. How could such a thing happen?

Well, according to the doctor in question they were scared shitless of having Oprah friggin’ Winfrey die of a heart problem on their watch. They fell victim to the faults of being human and made a grave mistake by erring on the side of caution and picked heart over thyroid and botched a diagnosis.


The fucked up part is that Oprah starts this out of touch piece of shit op-ed by addressing the problems black women have getting adequate healthcare. (MAKE THAT ANYONE WHO ISN’T OPRAH).

Of course, under her extreme sociopathy — she has a point. COVID exposed it plainly — we saw the myriad of ways the healthcare system in America fails black Americans and still probably have many to discover — but that won’t happen if we follow Oprah’s plan — she is all about her, to the point SHE JUST REALIZED that having a fuckload of money and fame has “privileges”. Wow.

OPRAH FUCKING WINFREY DOES NOT HAVE THOSE ACTUAL PROBLEMS. Yes, Oprah is black, no doubt about it. But she is a billionaire several times over, as well as one of the most famous and respected people in the WORLD for decades…

Apparently newly aware of the differences between her and “normies”, Oprah goes on to lament the fact she can get an appointment in the snap of a finger with the best doctor in whatever field she wants or needs — and have it arranged so there is no hassle, no wait, no fuss — and she says that this situation has made her aware of the fact that — as a world famous fucking billionaire celebrity — she has a certain type of privilege that others don’t…

…… (a lot of screams and shrieks were subdued as I typed these dots)

The piece rambles on about the struggle of being a black woman, repeatedly glossing over the fact that the “discrimination” (translate — special treatment and life of luxury) she apparently faces is NOTHING LIKE WHAT THE AVERAGE BLACK WOMAN FACES, WHATSOEVER.

She is so clueless and flippant about this realization that she gets treated better at the doctor (but still complains because of a misdiagnosis that didn’t amount to shit — she is salty that her doctor CARED TOO MUCH) because of her fame, because of her money.

This is the problem with the ultra rich and famous — and it’s why none of us should ever listen to a fucking thing they say, don’t buy what they sell — they sell the continued perpetual motion machine of late stage capitalism — the rich get obscenely richer, the rest of the people fight about trans bathrooms and censorship and on the daily we squabble about whatever divisive, bullshit wedge the news media is driving into the cracks of society to distract us from the real privilege, the real discrimination.

It seems to me, and I could be wrong, that the real line that we need to fracture society along (instead of the media programmed identity-based lines that we currently allow to make us run in circles t8me and again) is the one between idiotic, power hungry ultra billionaires and us.

If we continue to fruitlessly play this rigged game of identity politics, it only ensures that the current broken system (which appears to be in free fall) stays in place, to the benefit of the 1% of the 1%, whilst we normal folk are left holding the bag paying for it through inflation, which is exploding just as fast and our President’s brain is imploding, which means the situation really sucks.

None of the “awareness” or “discourse” supposedly brought forth by brainwashed progressives who forgot the point of progressivism HAS AMOUNTED TO A SINGLE POSITIVE OUTCOME, other than Shaun King’s male privilege allowing him to pull a Dolezal without consequence and Jussie Smollett avoiding jail and the cackling witches on the View getting to complain about Trump for however many hours and calling that “work”.

…… (more shrieking and my bursitis is flaring up again, fuck getting old)

TL;DR — STFU Oprah, you’re irrelevant and so psychotic that you seriously believe people are going to think your problems are at all comparable to even upper upper middle class black women, look — there is no comparison and she should shut the fuck up. (put claps between all those words)

The thing that sucks is that a lot of people listen to her and will trick themselves into feeling bad for her. This is an evil villain who had a closed door meeting with Bill Gates, Buffett, Zuckerberg and others about how to address “the population problem”. Maybe don’t respect her? Maybe (and rightly) send all your right-wing populist vitriol at her — even if you are a lefty.

People spent how much of 2020 protesting and chanting “Say her name!” and injustice continues in regards to much of the Breonna Taylor tragedy/failure of justice and Oprah wants us to focus on her because bitch thinks having a doctor that cared too much is somehow fucking racist. Fuck off…

Listen. The problem isn’t your blackness, Oprah — it’s the fact that DOCTORS are now so underappreciated and underpaid relative to what they do (nurses, too — my belief is we should EXTERMINATE HOSPITAL ADMINISTRATORS, but that’s neither here, nor there, nor legal, nor allowed by Nuremberg laws) that their professional judgement is beholden to the question, “can this person financially or otherwise RUIN me if I slip up at all?”, and Oprah should have some empathy for that plight instead of expecting any of us, white black brown gay straight whatever, to give a flying fuck about her and her whining.

I have said some things on Twitter. Ive threatened the President(s) multiple times, I’ve sent several 15 tweet long threads at my representatives and senators to tell them what a bunch of jannies, glowies, boomers and coomers they are (and also telling them to “legalize it” a lot) and yada yada yada — and I had one account banned and that was for drunkenly calling Joe Rogan the f-word (I apologize).

This morning after seeing this shit and tweeting Oprah to tell her she’s a cunt — INSTANT BAN! What is this world coming to?!?!?!?

Thanks a lot Elon, ya prick.

*this is satire, NOT insane ramblings,

**that’s a copout, I am looney toons



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Joseph R. Cooper

Joseph R. Cooper

Serial underachiever, persona non grata, disc golf enthusiast and high-IQ failure. Not right wing or left wing, but often chewing because I love food.